Clementine
by Kasey22
Summary: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver?  With a little Juliet on the side.  And some Miles, too. Complete
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

Clementine Ford Phillips lay on her side in the hospital bed and tried to look out the window. She could almost see the leaves on a tree but not quite. The hospital gown was scratchy but she didn't care.

"Be strong," Mommy had said. "You'll be okay." The inside of the car had felt cramped after the accident. They'd been listening to music but with the car lying on it's side on the shoulder of the road the music had felt jarring and out of place. Clementine had been crying, saying, "Mommy! Wake up! Please wake up!" Which had finally worked. Her mom had groggily come around and they could both hear sirens in the distance. "Be strong, baby," she'd said in a voice that had seemed drained of life, and "I love you. Never forget that."

The ambulance arrived on the scene moments later and in the chaos, Clementine had lost track of her mother. There'd been policemen and a second ambulance and suddenly someone was cutting the door off the car to get her out. She couldn't seem to stop crying and she hated that she wasn't being strong, like her mom. It was just them, together, alone, and she knew that it would always be just them together, but she couldn't see her mother anymore and that scared her.

Later, at the hospital, a doctor had sat on the edge of her bed and talked about blood loss and Clementine had started to cry again. They said they'd been trying to find her father and it was looking like he'd be there in a day or two, just in time for her to go home. The doctor had held her hand and said he was sorry that he couldn't have saved her mom. Clementine sniffled and pulled her hand away, trying to make the tears stop. She covered her eyes. At six years old, she was incredibly determined, but the loss of her mother was just too much and the doctor left her alone.

There was another doctor, the next day, who came in to talk about grief. Clementine only half-listened to her. She kept saying over and over again how lucky Clem was that she hadn't suffered worse injuries in the crash. Just some scrapes and bruises, wasn't she a lucky girl? Clem rolled over and tried to pretend that she wasn't there.

On the third day, there was a ruckus in the hallway. She'd been told that her father would be there at one to take her home, and she needed to get dressed and ready to leave the hospital. Clem put on the clothes she'd been wearing on the day of the accident and sat in the chair, looking out the window. Her mom was gone and that was that. The hospital people were going to send her home with a stranger. The policemen had been back and kept saying something about a bank account and a birth certificate and how that proved that it was okay.

Clem listened hard to the commotion and could hear a man saying, "Dammit, you can't be serious! I've never even met her!"

She looked at the clock on the wall, which told her it was one-thirty, her father was supposed to have been there at one. A man with dark blond hair that almost reached his shoulders came into the room with the policemen, "Clementine," said the policeman with the mustache, "Your dad's here."

"You're late," she said with no expression. She looked at him coldly and took in his jeans, untucked button down shirt and boots. She noticed that his hair color was the same a hers but all she felt was frustration.

"Sorry about that," he said slowly. "I didn't really believe 'em when they told me you were here."

"Mommy's dead," she replied, looking at him hard in the face.

He took a second look at her then and knelt down so that he was at eye level with her. He sighed one of those grown-up-life-is-hard sighs and said, "I know, I heard. I'm awful sorry about that."

Clementine looked back out the window. He could never understand and she hated him for even trying.

xoxox

They drove away from the hospital in the wet heat of Miami in August. Her mom and she had just moved from New Mexico to Florida, a change of scene her mom had said, before she got completely settled into a school. They'd only been there six weeks and now this.

Clem watched warily from the backseat as her dad navigated his rusted bucket of a car through the streets. That's what her mom and her would have called it, 'a rusted bucket'.

"Where do you live?" she asked finally, curiosity getting the better of her.

"I used to live in LA, now I live here."

"Where's LA?"

"California."

"Oh."

xoxox

Sawyer glanced in the rearview at his daughter and caught his breath again at how quickly life can change. Two days ago he'd been applying for an hourly wage as a security guard with a Miami pharmaceutical company. It had been six months since the Incident. He and Jack and Kate and everyone else had been zapped back on the plane to L.A., at first remembering nothing.

Slowly, though, little by little, flashes of memory and then great big chunks had come back to him...to everyone, actually. People had started getting in touch with him, but there was only one person he wanted to get in touch with and she was dead. He could still feel her hand in his as she'd hung over the bomb, chains dragging her down, pulling her toward death.

Even, now, six months later he would often wake up in the middle of the night, soaked with sweat, sheets tangled around his legs, seeing her face again, telling him that she loved him. He'd even relocated to Miami in a ridiculous bid to be close to where she'd grown up. He'd even, on a whim, tried tracking her down, thinking that maybe if they'd all survived perhaps she had too but there was no Juliet Burke in Miami or anywhere else.

He'd stopped grifting almost immediately, didn't have the taste for it anymore. Cassidy had gotten in touch when they'd arrived in town but he'd been in no shape to see a six year old kid who probably didn't want to meet him anyway. He didn't know if she'd moved to Miami to be close to him, he probably would never know now. Sawyer couldn't imagine that she had, though. It would probably just be one of those things in life that you can't ever explain.

And now, ready or not, his kid was in the backseat, staring out the window. The cops and lawyers had gone through it with him but he still couldn't believe it. Cassidy had listed him as Clementine's father on the birth certificate, and the money Kate had given Cassidy for the little girl, in his name, had sealed the deal. He supposed it was good that at least they'd have some money to live on. The security guard gig didn't pay much - if he got it, that is - and with a job he'd have to think about day care.

He narrowed his eyes, thinking. There was a good amount of money in that account. Maybe he could take some time and get to know the kid. He pulled up in front of Cassidy's house and parked, her keys on the seat next to him.

"What are we doing here?" Clementine asked from the backseat, sounding hostile.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

Clem didn't like this one bit. Their house together was _theirs_. This big, stupid man shouldn't be allowed in the house that her mommy would never get to go in again.

"I thought you'd like to get some of your stuff."

"What for?"

He shut off the car and turned in his seat so that he faced her. "You need some clean clothes, right? A hairbrush?" Her curly hair was definitely a mess but that was none of his business. She stared back at him for a beat, though, knowing that in the world of kids and grown-ups, grown-ups always won. "Fine."

Clem unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door. She stomped up the front walk and waited for him to join her at the front stoop, all but tapping her toe at him. Who did he think he was anyway?

She watched as he used her mother's keys to unlock and open the door. The house was light and airy, the open blinds letting in the lemony sunshine. Clementine took it all in and felt her chin wobble slightly. She could smell her mother in the air. She didn't know if it was perfume or shampoo but it was her. She stood there, waiting for her mom to come out of the kitchen and smile at them. She knew, she just _knew _that if she waited long enough her mom would appear.

"You okay?" said her father, the stranger. He was crouching down to her level again, looking at her with some curiosity mixed with concern.

She could feel her mouth twist at her efforts not to cry. He had ruined it. By asking if she was okay he'd broken the spell, the big, stupid stranger. Her mom wouldn't be coming out of the kitchen or her bedroom or the bathroom. Her mom was dead. "My mom is dead!" she yelled, bursting into tears and stalking to her bedroom where she slammed the door.

xoxox

Shit, thought Sawyer. This is just perfect. The irony was that he knew exactly how she felt. He'd been not that much older than she was now when his father had murdered his mother before committing suicide. He could hear her crying on the other side of her door, so he thought he'd give her a minute. Sawyer prowled through the little one-level house, trying to decide what to do with it. It would be too weird to live here, and probably too traumatic, too. No, a clean break was what the kid needed.

He'd hire someone to come in and go through it all, get rid of everything except Clem's stuff. They could send it to his place...which, come to think of it, needed an upgrade. Clementine needed a better place than his one bedroom apartment by the beach. Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow he'd find something in a nice neighborhood with a backyard.

Sawyer heard her door open and he turned toward her from where he sat on the couch. Her bedroom was off a little hallway that led from the living room. They stared at each other. Finally she broke the silence.

"What's your name?"

"James." He knew that the doctors or somebody had told her this at the hospital but after everything he didn't blame her for forgetting.

"I don't believe you."

He stared at her. "Why not?"

"Because mommy said my daddy's name was Sawyer."

"Well, that's just a nickname," he said patiently. "My name is James Ford, but my nickname is Sawyer."

"My middle name is Ford."

"Well, that'd be your mama's doing."

"What do I call you?"

"Whatever you want."

"I have a nickname, too."

"Do ya?"

Clem nodded solemnly. He could see that her cheeks were still wet from crying, but she was trying to pull it together. "Mommy used to call me 'Tiney'."

"As in Clemen-_tine_?" Sawyer chuckled and nodded. "That sounds like her."

"What do we do now?"

"I dunno. Have ya had lunch?"

"Yeah. At the hospital."

"Okay, good." Sawyer was now stumped and he began to rethink the whole idea of not getting a job and staying home with her.

She joined him on the couch and they stared at the empty TV for a while.

Sawyer let the silence stretch, thinking that she might appreciate the quiet. Eventually, he said, "You wanna watch some TV?"

"I'm not allowed to watch TV during the day," was her prompt reply, delivered in a monotone voice.

"Why not?"

Clem paused here, not really knowing the answer herself. "It's a rule," she finally told him, in a voice one reserved for the harmless but very stupid.

"Rules are made to be broken," he said, reaching for the remote.

"No! Mommy said no!" she shrieked. He looked at her and put the remote back down on the end table. "Okay, then." She was breathing hard and he thought she might cry again. Shit. This was just fucking awesome. God, he wished Juliet were here. She'd know what to do. Hell, even Kate would be better at this than he was.

"Do you wanna pack a bag or two with your stuff and get outta here?"

"Okay," she said, sounding utterly defeated and got up. "The suitcases are in mommy's closet." She led the way into Cassidy's bedroom where they found the bed unmade and the dresser a mess of jewelry, hair stuff, a curling iron and even a bra or two. The floor was littered with the detritus of a busy life and a too-full closet. Clem waded through all this and opened the sliding closet door and pointed to the shelf at the top. "Suitcase," she said.

Sawyer reached up and brought it into Clem's room so that she could pack. Clem's bedroom, in stark contrast with her mother's was neat as a pin. Every toy was in its place, every game arranged on a shelf, corners all at right angles. Even the bed was made.

Sawyer waited in the living room, but noticed that she went back into her mother's room several times before dragging the case out with her to where he sat on the couch.

"Ready," she said, completely blank and looking a little pale. He noticed that she wouldn't look at him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

Back in the car, Clem was as silent as before. She'd watched him lock up the house and put the keys into his front jeans pocket before following him to the rusted bucket and allowing him to open the door for her. He put her suitcase in the trunk.

The drive to his apartment was fast and they pulled up in front of the two story house a few minutes later. Upon entering her father's apartment she noticed immediately that unlike her mother's house, the apartment smelled like nothing. Or at least, it smelled musty and stale, like the person living there was sick or something.

"Can we open a window?"

"Sure, you want some fresh air?"

"It smells in here."

She saw him flush a little and turn away. "Not the best housekeeper in the world, that's for sure."

"Where's my room?"

"Here," he said, leading her to the bedroom. The double bed was unmade, the blinds on the curtainless windows were askew and instead of a dresser, there were clothes piled into two laundry baskets, one clean and folded, one a mess of random arms and legs from shirts and pants. "It's just temporary, of course. I'm going to find us a new place tomorrow and you'll have your own room that's actually a room for you. Okay?"

"Fine," she said, dully.

xoxox

That night, Sawyer and his daughter sat on the couch together watching cartoons and reading the paper. Clem had pulled a sweatshirt out of her suitcase that couldn't have been hers and she sat with it now in her lap. She wore a pink and yellow nightgown and after he'd insisted that she take a shower her dark blond hair glinted gold in the lamplight. She sat at one end of the couch watching and he sat at the other looking at apartment listings, circling items of interest every once in a while.

At nine o'clock he sent her to bed and spent the next hour having a few beers, trying to will himself to go to sleep himself, too. If only Juliet were here, he thought. He took off his jeans and lay down on the couch in his boxer shorts and a t-shirt, pulling a threadbare throw over his legs for warmth.

Around one he woke up to the sound of small, bare feet padding into the living room. He lay still, listening, waiting until he heard someone drop first a pillow and then their body down onto the floor next to the couch and arrange a blanket.

"What are you doing, Clem?" he whispered.

"It's scary in that room."

"Scary? It's just a room."

"I don't like it," she insisted in a quavery little voice.

"Okay, then. Do you wanna switch? I can take the floor if you want the couch." He didn't really think she'd say yes so when she replied with a bright, "Okay," he closed his eyes and shook his head. A night on the floor. Fan-fucking-tastic.

xoxox

The next night they were again settled on the couch watching tv. It had been an incredibly full day. After a stiff-necked breakfast at the local diner they'd gone apartment hunting and found, after hours of searching, a cute little two-bedroom house for rent in a nice neighborhood not too far from the beach. Sawyer signed the lease and gave them a month and half for security, and that was it. They were free to move in any time.

Unfortunately, the movers weren't available anytime so they were back at his little one-bedroom again. "If you want the couch again I can take the bed," he said casually.

"That's okay," she told him.

"Are you gonna stay in the bed the whole night?"

"I don't know," she replied, eyes fixed on the tv. The sweatshirt was again in her lap and he noticed that every once in a while she'd bring it up to her face and inhale

Sawyer rubbed the stubble on his jaw. The movers were coming here tomorrow at nine and then going to Cassidy's place afterward. He'd already had people out there today sorting and getting rid of stuff. The movers would get there tomorrow and take Clem's stuff only, then head over to the new house. He hoped she'd be okay with all the changes. He hoped he'd get to sleep a whole night on something soft...

Somehow he knew it wasn't meant to be when he again woke up in the middle of the night and found Clem settling down to sleep on the floor beside the couch where he lay. "You okay?"

"It's scary in that room. I don't like it."

"Are you gonna be comfortable on the floor?"

"Yeah, we can take turns."

"Take turns?"

"I'll take the floor tonight, tomorrow I'll take the couch," she said this with the serene obliviousness of a six-year-old.

"What about the bed? We're wasting a perfectly good bed."

She didn't answer, which he was discovering was her way of avoiding things she didn't want to talk about. Rather than push her, Sawyer listened as her breathing turned slow and deep before drifting off again himself. His last thought was, _Floor my ass, we're gonna be in the new place as of tomorrow if I have to shoot someone to make it happen._

xoxox

Two days later they were semi-settled but mostly hot and tired from all the moving. Also, the air conditioner was on the fritz, so Sawyer called up his new landlord and arranged for him to fix it while he and Clem went to the mall for some blessed cool air. After parking the car in the mall lot, they headed for the nearest set of doors and Sawyer nearly lost his balance when he felt the wriggly fingers of Clem's left hand fit into his right. "We have to hold hands in parking lots and when crossing the street," she told him authoritatively.

"You're right," he said, belatedly, holding her hand more firmly now in his own, and wondering if he'd ever get used to it.

They hit the bookstore first, not a massive Barnes and Noble but one of the few independents left. Clem dragged him through new fiction, old fiction, biographies and cookbooks to the childrens section where she stopped and gazed around her, as if she'd just been handed a plateful of cupcakes, all decorated in different colors and frostings, but couldn't decide which one to eat first. Like father like daughter, Sawyer thought, inexplicably rather pleased with himself.

They were on the floor together, Clem practically sitting in his lap, something else he could barely believe, engrossed in the latest Junie B. Jones when a tall blond woman and a little blond boy joined them. Sawyer looked up from his reading aloud to check her out (old habits died hard) and nearly lost his breath. It was Juliet!

Juliet, being dragged by the hand by a boy Clem's age over to the stack of Captain Underpants books. "Hey," Clem was chiding. "Keep going." Sawyer didn't really mean to, but he ignored Clem a moment longer because he couldn't take his eyes off Juliet. Had she seen him? Had she remembered anything? Was this her son? If she'd never gone to the island did that mean she was still married? So many questions.

Clem had had enough though and finally she said, very loudly, "Daddy!" Startled, Sawyer looked down at her impatient face and found her forehead scrunched up in frustration. He thought his own head might explode then because not only was it the first time she'd ever called him that, but her expression of frustration reminded him so much of his own mother that he thought he might need to lie down. He hadn't seen that face in 30 years and here it was, staring back at him through a six year old.

"Sorry, Clem," he said softly, still a bit stunned, and continued to read, but watched Juliet and her kid out of the corner of his eye the whole time. When he finished, Clem started digging through a box of toys and it wasn't long before Juliet's kid wandered over, too.

Sawyer stood up and faced Juliet who had followed the kid over to the toys. "Hi there," she said, smiling. God, he'd missed that smile.

He looked deeply into her eyes and said, "Hi." He probably looked like a lovesick stalker but he didn't care.

She stared at him the way one might look at someone with mild case of social idiocy. "My name is Juliet," she prompted, holding out her hand for him to shake.

"James," he told her, taking it and shaking it gently. "Your son?" He held his breath.

"Nephew. Julian." Thank God. "And that's your daughter?"

"Yeah, Clementine."

"Pretty name."

"Yeah, it is," he said, though he had never once given it a second thought before. They watched the children play for a while and then Juliet said it was time to go. "Nooooo," wailed Julian. "Mommy's going to be home soon," Juliet said patiently. "We said we'd eat dinner with her and then I have to go to work."

"You work nights?" asked Sawyer. It was late afternoon and he was interested.

"Tonight I do. I work at University Hospital." Sawyer had only been in town a little while but even he knew about the University of Miami Hospital's reputation. This meant she was probably still a fertility doctor.

"Nice," he said, hoping she wouldn't ask what he did for a living.

"Come on, Julian, pick a book and then we gotta go."

Julian continued to whine and moan until Sawyer suggested that they meet up again for a play date.

Juliet was at first reluctant but Julian really kicked his moaning in high gear until she caved and promised that they could meet at a park the next afternoon.

They waved goodbye and Sawyer thought he might spend the rest of the day in a haze until Clem tugged at his sleeve and said, "Julian is my boyfriend now. What are we having for dinner?"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

When they got home the a/c was working again, thank God, and they spent the rest of the evening setting up Clem's room. Everything from her mother's house was unpacked and set up just so. During this time, Sawyer really wanted to just sit and think about Juliet and try to figure out how he'd missed her when trying to track her down. What had gone wrong, and what were the odds that they'd just run into each other in a city the size of Miami?

But then he kept discovering things of Cassidy's that Clem had surreptitiously packed in with her stuff. A bottle of perfume, a scarf, that sweatshirt from a few nights ago, some socks...the kid had squirreled away half of the mess that had been thrown across her mother's carpet. For now he let it go and just helped her unpack it all.

They decided on pizza for dinner and then settled down on the couch in front of the tv to eat. Clem's rule about no tv during the daytime had quickly fallen by the wayside and they enjoyed a companionable silence. When Clem went to bed, after reminding him to remind her to brush her teeth first, the house settled and quieted and Sawyer couldn't stand it any longer. He called the one person he was still in touch with and said bluntly, "Juliet's alive but she doesn't remember a thing."

Sawyer was pretty sure he could hear Miles roll his eyes over the phone lines before he answered, "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"I'm serious, Miles, she's here. In Miami, working and she didn't remember me at all."

"That's really weird."

"Weird? I think it's more than a little weird."

"Okay, it's really fucking bizarre and it really fucking sucks. What do you want me to say?"

"Well, why do think she doesn't remember?"

"Dude, I don't know." After a minute Miles continued, "She was closest to the bomb, though."

"Do you think that's why?"

"I have no idea why, Jim, I just know that that's true. She _was _closest to the bomb when it went off."

"How many times I gotta tell you, don't call me 'Jim'."

"Force of habit, sorry."

They were silent for another moment and then Sawyer said, "Her nephew and my daughter are friends now. I'm going to have to see her and know that she might not ever remember me."

"That really, really fucking sucks, dude, but...well...at least you found her, right? You know she's alive and safe and happy."

"It would have been enough before but now it's not. Now I need her to know me and remember and ..."

"Love you back?"

"Fuck, Miles, you make me sound like Jack."

"If the kleenex fits."

"Your on thin ice, buddy."

"Right. You want me to come out for a few days? Maybe she'll remember me."

"Nah. Have you been in touch with anyone else?"

"Just Hurley."

"How's he doing?"

"Happiest guy alive."

"That's nice."

"Yeah."

"I kind of hate him, Miles."

"Yeah, me, too."

"And on that note."

"Word. Talk to you."

"Bye."

Sawyer hung up and leaned his head back on the couch, thinking. What if her memories never came back? Could he make her love him all over again? The things they went through on the island were terrible and intense and by their very nature brought out both the good and the bad in people. They were together on the island because they were the alphas, the strongest and the ones others had looked to for help, even after they'd been absorbed by the Dharma Initiative. There's no way he could recreate that here in civilized Miami.

He went to bed depressed and woke up to discover a warm bundle of legs and arms pressed against his side. It took him moment to figure out that it was Clem and another for her to wake up, lift one hand to his face and say, "You need to shave."

"Ain't you got a bed?" he growled softly.

" 'Ain't' isn't a word," she told him primly.

"How about 'tickle'? Is 'tickle' a word?" he asked letting his fingers find her ribs. She shrieked with delight and wriggled out of bed and onto the floor where she ran into the living room. Sawyer lay there a minute longer, resisting the urge to ask her to make coffee.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

At three they met Juliet and Julian and Rachel at a park close by. At first he was annoyed with Rachel, he wanted Juliet all to himself; wanted to plant enough hints that she HAD to remember, but in the end it worked out beautifully. Rachel said that Juliet was getting over a cold and that she didn't mind playing with Julian and Clem while she and James sat on a bench nearby.

Once alone, though, he couldn't think of a single thing to say and the silence stretched. Finally, she turned toward him and said, "I have a confession to make."

"Oh, yeah?" he replied, instantly interested.

"Yeah. I'm not getting over a cold. Rachel is a freak about safety and when I told her that we met yesterday in a bookstore she insisted on coming along to check you out and make sure you're not a psycho."

"And did I check out?"

"So far so good."

"You could have just blown us off, though. If there was any doubt why'd you keep the date?"

Juliet turned back to watching the kids and Rachel then and he could see a delicate flush creep up the side of her neck and into her cheeks. "I dunno," she said, finally. "Julian would have been really disappointed, and I didn't want that."

If he'd still been in the con-artist business this would have been too easy.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he blurted out, unable to keep his mouth shut.

She looked back at him, startled, and he could see the flush deepen and he wanted to let his fingers roam across the expanse of her cheek. "Not...No."

"Not no?"

"Not anymore," she said, smiling in self-deprecation.

"Old boyfriend problems?"

"Old husband problems."

"Divorced?"

"Yep."

"How long?" he asked, his heart in his mouth. Please don't let her just be getting over that asshole.

"About five years."

"Damn, that's certainly old."

"Yeah, but we still work together."

"Why?" He knew why, she'd told him why back in their Dharma-issued bed, but he wanted to hear her say it here and now.

"Rachel had cancer a while back, right before she got pregnant with Julian. Edmund runs a research lab that allowed me to use experimental drugs on Rachel, which in the end is what saved her. I guess Edmund is able to hold that over me. He didn't report what was probably more than a slight bending of the rules. I work for him because he still could do something to damage my career."

"What a bastard."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"So you don't still have feelings for him."

"No," she said with a laugh.

"Wanna have dinner with me tonight?"

"Dinner?" she said looking at him again and flushing again.

"Yeah. We meet at a previously-decided upon restaurant, we order food, we eat, and we get to know each other better." He turned his dimples on to full wattage.

"I'm familiar with how it works, but what about Clem?"

Damn. How had he forgotten about Clem? Father of the Year, right freaking here. "Maybe Rachel wouldn't mind babysitting?"

"She's working tonight and I'm babysitting," Juliet said with a shake of her head.

"Perfect," he said, "I'll bring Clem over and we can babysit together."

"You don't give up easily, do you?"

"No." Sawyer was looking at her, trying to compare this Juliet with the one he'd adored on the island and she was looking back at him, just as intensely.

"This is crazy," she said finally, "but for some reason I'm not worried. You seem so familiar somehow. Are you sure we've never met before?"

"I think I'd remember."

They spent the rest of the afternoon at the park, leaving at five when Clem ran up to Sawyer and whispered urgently in his ear, "Daddy, I have to make a peeps!"

"A peeps?" he whispered back, appalled to be having this conversation.

"That's what mommy and I call it. I need a bathroom."

"Why don't we walk back to our house and you can go there," suggested Juliet placidly. Her demeanor suggested that she didn't want Clem to be embarrassed, she just wanted to help solve the problem.

And the group walked quickly the three blocks to the little house that Rachel and Juliet shared. Rachel got ready for work while Juliet prepared dinner and Sawyer kept her company in the kitchen. The kids meanwhile played in Julian's room. When Rachel left a few minutes before six she wished them all a good night and gave Julian a kiss which the boy promptly wiped off and dubbed, "Gross."

"A mother's kiss is never gross," Juliet told him as she scooped chicken and rice onto a plate.

"Kisses from girls are always gross," he countered, making a face.

"Yeah," Clem echoed, in the first stage of hero-worship.

Sawyer stifled a laugh and shared a look with Juliet who smiled back. Mother of God he wanted to kiss her. How long would it take to make her feel the things she used to feel? How could he possibly be that patient? The thought took the wind out of his sails momentarily and he felt profound sadness that he might be friends with her for the next ten years and she might not ever feel what they had on the island.

His smile faded and he finished his dinner quietly while the others chatted around him. After dinner, Juliet rinsed the plates and stacked them in the dishwasher while he wiped down the counter tops and table, still ruminating on the future. They settled on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and Sawyer asked, "So how long have you lived with Rachel?"

"I moved out of Edmund's house when we separated and Rachel was pregnant and single so we decided I should crash here temporarily. Temporary somehow turned into permanent."

"Edmund's house?"

"Well, he owned it before we were married and while we were married he didn't put my name on the deed, which turned out to be such a good thing. When I left, I just packed up my stuff and left."

"Convenient."

"Yeah," she agreed, staring off into space a little.

"And if you work together you must get along, right?" He knew this was bullshit, but he wanted to hear her say it.

"Yeah, I guess. We get along as well as you'd expect."

"That's good."

"What about you?" she said, very unexpectedly. "We've been talking about me since the park. What's your story? Where's Clem's mom?"

"Long story," he sighed. "We had a thing and then it didn't work out." Stretching the truth, yes. Lying? Yeah, okay, sort of. "Actually, I didn't used to be the good, upstanding citizen you see before you today."

"No?" He waited for her to run screaming from the room. She didn't move.

"No. I went through some shit when I was a kid and it messed me up pretty bad. I rebelled against everything and I mean everything - relatives, society, the law, everything. I spent some time inside and that wasn't fun, I can tell you. Cassidy, Clem's mom, put me there. She pressed charges against my rebellion and then came to see me in jail. Brought a picture of Clem and everything. When I got out, I was still angry at the world but then some other stuff happened...a plane crash...it was a learning experience and I came out the other side a better person. I've been busy getting my shit together for the last six months, planning to track them down and actually have a relationship with my kid and then Cassidy gets killed in a car wreck. Clem was in the back seat and so the first time we met was just a few days ago at the hospital when I picked her up as her only living relative and guardian. Come to think of it, she's my only living relative, too," he finished lightly.

"My God."

"Yeah. I still can't beleive it. I mean, she's coping really well, aside from..." here he trailed off, slightly embarrassed. Suddenly he felt as if his parenting skills were under scrutiny.

"Aside from what?"

"Well, she kind of packed a bunch of her mom's stuff with her when we left the old house."

"That's completely normal," Juliet soothed.

"Really? I mean, a lot of stuff. Clothes, perfume, jewelry..."

"Totally normal," Juliet assured him.

"Okay. Also, I put her to bed every night in her room and I wake up every morning to find her in my room. Isn't that weird? I mean, we barely know each other."

"She's a little girl who's adjusting to a huge change in her life and right now you're her lifeboat. It means she trusts you and she wants to make sure you're not going to disappear the way her mother just did."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

He nodded, accepting her reassurance and then said, "So that's my story."

"It's a good one," she told him. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, listening to the kids play down the hallway in Julian's room until Sawyer couldn't take it anymore. "Isn't this the part where the babysitters make out?"

Juliet laughed out loud and playfully punched him on the arm.

When he and Clem finally left at eight-thirty, he and Juliet had exchanged phone numbers and decided to try to arrange a dinner. He kissed her on the cheek at the door and lingered over how good her hair smelled, before taking Clem by the hand and walking home.

xoxox

Much later that night, Sawyer's cell rang on the make shift nightstand beside the bed. It chirped angrily at him until he rolled over and answered with a gruff, "The hell time is it?"

Clem sighed in her sleep at his side and he scrubbed a hand over his face. She'd done it again, he thought. Which was when the person on the other end of the phone started talking. "What the hell have you done to me?" came the whimper.

"Juliet?" He was awake instantly.

"James, I've been up for hours because every time I fall asleep I have dreams about an island and your there and I know that it's not really a dream but more like deja vu. I've been there before and so have you, it's a memory, dammit!" Shit. So the memories were coming back, he thought. He had no way of knowing whether it was because the time was just right or because he'd spent the day with her.

"It's okay, Juliet."

"It's not _okay_, James! What the hell is going on?"

"Shit, okay," he said, sitting up in bed, but keeping his voice low and the light off so as not to wake Clem. "You're right. It did all happen. They are memories. Remember I said when I got outta jail I was still mad at the world but then some other stuff happened? A plane crash? Well, that's what I was talking about. How much do you remember?"

"Everything. It's like an alternate universe has been trapped in my head this whole time and I never knew it. I have two sets of memories for the last three years!"

"I know, I know."

"What?"

"It's really fucked up, I know, but just breath and know that you're not alone. Everyone else made it back okay. Jack and Hurley and Miles and Jin and everyone is okay."

"Kate?" James heard the underscore of bitterness in Juliet's voice and he shuddered.

"Yeah, Kate's fine too."

He expected her to continue on with the Kate questions but instead she said, "Why didn't I remember until now? How long have you remembered?"

"I've had my memories for about six months. I suspect that you didn't get yours back until now because..." his voice almost broke as he said the next few words "...you were literally on top of the bomb when it went off."

She was silent for a long minute. Clem rolled over in her sleep and James smoothed the curly blond hair over her forehead with his free hand, marveling at how natural is seemed after less than a week."

"So it wasn't all in my mind. Out little house together and the ... happiness we had there?"

"No, baby, it wasn't all in your mind."

He could hear sniffling and wished he were there with her.

"Did we really just run into each other at the book store? Did you plan that?"

"Ever since my memories came back I've been trying to find you, but no one's got a Juliet Burke in their records. Finally I gave up, thinking that you really hadn't survived the Incident, but I couldn't stay away. I moved from LA to Miami about three months ago. Clem happened this week and we moved to a new place but the air conditioner was shot. So we went to the bookstore to beat the heat. I had no idea you'd be there. I about fell over when I saw you. And when you didn't remember me I about fell over again. When the kids hit it off I suggested a play date because I just couldn't lose you again."

"I didn't take Edmund's name when we got married, so my last name is Carlson and it has been forever," she explained a little breathlessly.

"That's why I couldn't find a Juliet Burke. Damn. I didn't even think of looking for your maiden name." He wanted to kick himself.

There was silence for a moment and then Juliet said, "I can't believe how stupid I was."

"What are you talking about?"

"Edmund cheated...a lot...and it never phased me. I mean, at first it did but after a while I just thought, this is my life and I either need to put up or shut up. I was able to help Rachel get pregnant because I continued to work for him and I didn't want to rock that boat. I was stunned when he filed for divorce. What a doormat, I would have let him keep it up forever, probably. But Kate I wanted to tear limb from limb. As soon as I saw that you two still had...I dunno...chemistry I guess. I couldn't stand her. I wanted to kill her. I've never been a jealous person, but I just couldn't deal with it. And I know now that there was nothing left between you, two. I'm not saying I think there was, I'm saying can't believe I was stupid enough to let those feelings dictate my actions."

"Don't," he said, softly, still not wanting to wake Clem, "don't beat yourself up. In the end, for what it's worth, Jack was right. We're all back safe and sound, memories intact, including you. Maybe it _was _all meant to be, as fucked up and crazy as that sounds."

"I love you, James."

"I love you too, Juliet," he said with a sigh of relief. "God I've missed you."

He could hear sniffling again and he wished they were together.

"I'd invite you over but Clem..."

"I agree, she's been through too much in the last week. Let her be and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Really?"

"We can get coffee"

"My treat."

"Technically it's a first date, so why don't we go dutch?"

He chuckled and said, "No way in hell, lady. I'm buying you coffee and then I'm buying you a diamond."

James could hear her laughing and crying at the same time. "Rachel is going to think I've lost my mind. Getting engaged to someone I've known, as far as she knows, for a day."

"I don't care. I'm done being apart from you."

"Me, too."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: My answer to the question: What if Sawyer had to be Clementine's primary care giver? With a little Juliet on the side.

In the early morning Clementine rolled over and opened her eyes and saw her father lying on his back staring at the ceiling.

"G'morning," she yawned.

"Sleep good?" he asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Wanna see Juliet and Julian again today?"

"Okay."

He looked at her and said, "Okay? Not 'Yes, please"?

"Why did you kiss Juliet yesterday?"

"I didn't," he protested.

"You did. You kissed her on the cheek before we left."

"Oh. Right," he said, remembering. "I did."

"So?"

"So, what?"

"Why did you kiss her?"

"I felt like it."

"She's a stranger," Clem pointed out, an petulant edge to her voice.

"I know."

"And Mommy was prettier," she said eying him critically.

"It's not a competition." He was frowning at her now and she had to think for a moment and figure out what to say to that.

Before she could think of what to say, though, he kept talking. "Look, Juliet's my friend and maybe someday we'll be more than friends, but I'll always remember your mom. And we can talk about her whenever you want because I want you to be able to remember her too. Juliet will be fine with that."

Clem stared at him solemnly and said, "Mommy said she'd never get married."

"And?"

"Are you going to get married?"

"Maybe some day."

"Where will your wife sleep when you get married?"

Her dad closed his eyes and he looked like he was choosing his words carefully. "Where do you think?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it, Babycakes."

This made her giggle and he smiled back at her, ruffling her messy curls. "Okay, Babycakes," she replied before scampering out of bed.

xoxox

Later that day they met at the park again and Julian and Clem headed for the swings in tandem. Sawyer and Juliet embraced and held each other for a long time. "I woke up this morning and thought it might have all been a dream," he said into her hair.

"I know," she agreed.

He kissed her neck and cheek and finally her lips and she greedily kissed him back. "Listen," he said when they finally broke apart, "As much as I want to pick up right where we left off, I can't do that to Clem. If you move in or we move again into a house with you, she's gonna resent it and you and she's gonna be hurt. Cassidy just died this week and I don't wanna..."

"I know. She needs to get used to the idea and adjust to the loss. We'll be fine."

Smiling he said, "Yeah we will."

They sat down on the bench to watch the kids play. They'd moved from the swings to the sand and Sawyer put his arm around Juliet's shoulders, reveling in the fact that he could be so bold today. She leaned her head against his shoulder and put one hand on his leg and squeezed. "God, I've missed you," he said.

"I know," she said. "But it's over now and I can't wait to spend rest of my life making up for lost time."

"I'm up for somma that," he agreed. And they sat and watched the children play.

End.


End file.
